Devastating

I know I have not been writing anything but my medication is really affecting my day.
So I started taking antidepressants and the first one I am trying is the neurotransmitter for serotonin and my cravings went very low. However, I am experiencing the side effects. I am very emotional today and I am crying by myself all day long. I am shaking and I have suicidal ideas and it is not helping me get better. My appetite went very low today and I feel like sleeping all day but yesterday something happened.

A so called friend of mine hurt me badly. We were talking and then he says a comment that upsets me. When he sees that I got angrier he tells me: "Go take another pill or something". I was shocked and tears fell down. WHy? because I am already devastated that my happiness depends on a pill. I am so screwed up that I need a pill to lift my mood up and you come and you joke about my destruction?

Later on, he comes and he tells me why are u crying and that he feels bad and that he always jokes about these things and why am I taking it seriously. I tell him you know what I don't care.

2 minutes later he comes and he tells me what makes me a bit upset is that you cried because I was joking about and in 2 seconds you tell me I don't care after making me feel bad?

Who is the one who should feel bad Mike? You? why because I made you feel bad when I cry? or should I be killed to hear from a friend his comments and his jokes about the thing that made my life hell.