My body is dying

Well my depression is effecting me a lot. I feel that my body is dying: I have stomach pain, pain in my shoulders, low heart beat, dizziness. For the first time of my life I actually believe that sadness can kill you. I also knew this week that my best friend was hospitalized for 2 month for being anorexic and was going to die. I feel so sad because if I loose her I literally kill myself. I want to help her and let her out of this but I can't even help myself. I am really obsessed about my weight and I can't continue fighting because food has been so comforting for the past 8 month. I don't know what to do...

Back

So I have 9 weeks to loose all the fat:D!!
My diet is going to be very restrictive and I will do my best to actually maintain it and be able to wear jeans again. Hopefully this time it will be successful

Starting weight: 130 lbs, 21% fat

Incomplete....

How upsetting

They say life is full of challenges... life is beautiful... you should enjoy living and loving people around u... but how can u love people who can't feel your love... who can't feel you

He is with another one... a total lost and I can't grieve

I am not crying anymore, no more tears over my loss and I want to scream and cry like a baby

My pills make me calm but my hearts needs to beat , my heart needs to feel the pain because I am in pain even though I can't feel it

What is my life about? Depression, loneliness, food addiction, compulsive exercising, studies, work, gym, keeping people away, spending money

Then what? He just got another one... another one to replace the love I had for him

And in the end I got depression

Thank u Rabih 

And I thank myself for what I became today 

Borderline person 

pushing people away